"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
