life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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