Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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