i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
