gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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