We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
