somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
