I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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