you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
