i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
