just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
