The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
