covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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