just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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