do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
