weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
