Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
