Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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