A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
