Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
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Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
