So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
