i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
