I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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