Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
