JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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