no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
