exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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