We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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