and you said cock pushups were impossible
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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