I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
