Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
