he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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