i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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