Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
