I'm going to jail i love you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
