let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
