What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
