Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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