its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
