can we get nightvision for the apartment?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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