Christians are straight up FREAKS
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
