I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
