porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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