Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
