So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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