dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
