You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
