Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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