Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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