Yo dont text me then not text me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I want a musical about memes.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
