"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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